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Life's too long, as the lemming said.
Moths: Jethro Tull; Heavy Horses. (Lyrics: Ian Anderson)
| I like doing daft
things... A couple of American friends came out to visit
me. After a week, one of them said 'And how are you
planning to nearly kill us today?' A base canard, of
course. I had taken great care of them. Really. I love
visitors (but I couldn't eat a whole one myself). My highly intelligent visitor then asked me the leading question: why? This was a difficult question and one that had never really occurred to me. My father went to sea in small boats in all weathers, I grew up into that, and I'd climbed and dived most of my life. To me they weren't 'danger sports'. They were what you did - I must have been about 16 when it finally dawned on me that the other kids at school weren't weird and deprived -- I was weird and, in my own opinion, privileged. Yes, I love the risk aspects. I don't just do it for thrills or kicks. If that were my sole interest I could simply take mind-bending chemicals... only, I like to be at least partially in control. Besides, as one of my caving friends once said 'Drugs are for people who can't handle adrenalin.' He drowned, pushing one cave too far. Too much adrenalin can kill too. Two other things come out of sticking my neck out few microns. The first thing is perspective. Trivia like exam results and whether she loves you or not are put into context by things like 'can I stay alive for the next 3 seconds?' So what if you've just become redundant? You've just managed another breath of air, which seemed very unlikely seconds ago. It's a great cure for stress. |
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The second reason is
more complex: It's because I can. Hmm. Like Mallory's
'Because it is there' that doesn't make much sense at
first glance. To take calculated risks is an act of
conscious choice, based on my assessment of my skills.
The fact that I'm still writing this says -- so far I
have got it right. Away from the cliff-face or the razor
teeth of the reef... those are choices and decisions few
of us get to make. Most of our lives, careers, days are
shaped by distal factors over which we have, at best,
limited influence. My books depend on a publisher buying
them, his choice of cover, his marketing, the financial
climate, luck, word of mouth... many other things over
which I have no control, no matter what I do. Our complex
civilization makes most of us highly dependent on remote
'others'. Forgive me for waxing philosophical, but in the
course of our evolutionary history it is only really the
last brief period that this situation has held true. Yes,
humans have always been victims of the weather, natural
disaster, predators, but for most of our species
existence we've personally been able to see disaster
coming and tried to modify our environment. It's what our
species does best. However, in the 21st century -- when I
put a manuscript in the post, I'm out of the 'modify'
loop. I'm quite an able person, but my success depends on
factors that most individuals have no chance to control
any more. It is thus very sweet to judge a situation, go
into it and test myself. If I come out of it I have
immediate affirmation that, hey, I am
quite capable. Oh well, just another one of my weird
ideas. But I stand firm by my belief that a surprisingly
large number of 'ordinary' humans have the ability to
become 'extraordinary', when circumstances conspire to
make them something other than just cogs in a big
machine. People, the most ordinary seeming of folk, have
the seeds of greatness... it just needs the right soil.
History is full of examples. (Genetically speaking, BTW,
this makes very good sense. We're far more inter-related
than many other species). Of course, kings, emperors,
presidents, CEO's, generals -- those who generally
dictate the viewpoint of history -- don't like this
mentioned much. The fact that it is recorded at all,
means it is probably just about dirt-common, rather than
rare. This is an unpopular idea with the powers-that-be.
It is hardly surprising I suppose. Their reason for
exalted position, privilege and money often depend on us
believing how exceptional they are. Ha. Some are. But
many... well as Bobbie Burns put it for me. "The rank is but the guinea's stamp; The man's the gowd (gold) for a' that." |
Oh. Yeah. And when I write about 'adventures'... I'm probably writing from first hand experience.
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